Chapter 43 - Hold Me
"Miss?"
"Get out!"
The sounds outside the chamber door disappeared entirely.
Dou Qingyue angrily sat on a rosewood stool, deeply regretting her ill-timed return. Had she been just a tad earlier, just a bit, the bride that her cousin was marrying wouldn't have been that Cui blind girl.
But speaking of it now was all too late.
If this was her fate, she wouldn't accept it.
How long has Cui Ti known Pei Xuan? She and her cousin shared more than a decade of bond. How many decades does one have in a lifetime?
From the moment she accidentally learned that Pei Xuan was a woman, she was determined to be her future wife. To be there for her, to drape a coat over her when it's cold, and to prepare her a bowl of sour plum soup when it's hot.
To be the closest lover to her in this world, to be the most loyal keeper of secrets, guarding the hidden truth that the Pei family deceived both the emperor and the common folk.
Dou Qingyue covered her mouth with a handkerchief and coughed twice, her face turning pale.
The immortals rarely bother with mortal affairs. Now that her elders are gone, she has to fight both openly and secretly.
She won't admit defeat, Cui Ti, let's wait and see!
"Qingyue?"
Lady Dou stood outside, concerned. She knocked gently on the door, "Qingyue, it's your mother."
The door swung open, and Dou Qingyue stood there dressed in plain white robes, her face showing signs of frailty. "Mother, what brings you here?"
She stepped aside to let her in.
A mother's heart aches for her own child. Lady Dou looked her up and down, concern evident in her eyes. "You've been cooped up in here for days. How can I not be worried?"
Being a daughter of a warrior and married to a renowned general in the court, they had only this one daughter over the years. Moreover, during her pregnancy, Lady Dou had accompanied her husband to battle and got injured, causing Qingyue to be born less robust than others.
To make up for her daughter's frailty, both Lady Dou and her husband poured all their love onto her.
Dou Qingyue, with the demeanor of a pampered young lady, nestled in her mother's embrace. "I heard the new bride is sick, and my cousin has even taken seven days off for her. Mother, I feel uneasy."
She had been spoiled since childhood, wanting for nothing but the moon and stars. Despite her inherent frailty which brought her some hardships, she was doted on by everyone around her, except when it came to the matter of marriage, where she faced a significant setback.
Lady Dou knew her heart was set on Pei Xuan, but Pei Xuan was already married. A daughter of the Dou family could never become someone's concubine. It would be highly inappropriate.
She comforted, "Their life is theirs. We need to focus on living our own."
"But I can't help feeling envious of the new bride."
Seeing it as a mere tantrum, Lady Dou didn't recognize the fleeting hint of resentment in her daughter's eyes. She gently patted Qingyue's back, "My dear, even though I love you dearly, I've told you before, you mustn't cause trouble for your cousin."
"Mother!"
"My dear Qingyue, stop fixating on your cousin. There are plenty of fine young men in Xi Jing. Should I help you look for another?"
Dou Qingyue knew just how to tug at her mother's heartstrings. Playing up her frailty, she coughed lightly, "Could any of them be as good as my cousin?"
Pei Xuan was undoubtedly one of the most outstanding young men in Xi Jing. Lady Dou held a soft spot for this nephew of hers. She couldn't lie about it, so she advised gently, "Someone may be even better suited for you than your cousin."
However excellent the nephew, he was now a married man. How could her daughter shamelessly pursue him?
Seeing that her pleas were ineffective, Dou Qingyue looked despondent, her eyes drooping sadly, looking utterly pitiful. "Given my condition, Mother, do you really think anyone would want me?"
She had health issues, making it impossible for her to bear children. Marrying into another family would inevitably lead to endless problems. Even if someone were drawn to her youth and beauty, cherishing it briefly, she knew youthful looks would eventually fade. She wasn't willing to take that gamble.
Pei Xuan was her ideal match, in terms of character, looks, talents, and everything else she admired.
He exuded a scholarly aura but provided her with a sense of unparalleled stability. With him, she felt as if she was always walking under a gentle spring sun.
Being kissed, cherished, nourished, and cared for.
She found such allure irresistible. She tugged gently at her mother's sleeve, "Mother, I want to visit the Pei residence."
Seeing her daughter's stubbornness broke Lady Dou's heart, filling her with regret.
If she hadn't been so headstrong back then, she wouldn't have harmed herself and affected the baby, causing Qingyue to be so cautious in matters of marriage.
Her maternal instincts kicked in, and she sighed deeply, "My dear, it's my fault."
"Mother..."
Dou Qingyue hugged her tightly, "So, you're allowing me to go?"
"..."
What other choice was there?
Better to let things flow than to block them.
Lady Dou gave a resigned smile, "If your heart isn't here, how can I possibly keep you?"
After sharing some heartfelt words, Dou Qingyue saw her mother out. The day was sunny and the air light. She then ordered, "Prepare the carriage, we're going to the Xiang residence."
Meanwhile, at the Pei residence, Pei Xuan was unaware of his dear cousin's undying affection across two lifetimes. He was busy writing an unfinished letter of accusation.
Once the letter was finished, she instructed a servant to deliver it to the residence of the Earl of Xi Ning.
Cui Ti's suffering couldn't go in vain.
No matter how biased the Earl and his wife were, they needed to give her a proper explanation this time.
Otherwise...
Her brows furrowed coldly.
Even a cornered rabbit would bite when threatened. It wasn't that she was unwilling to exert her influence, she just didn't like to.
She rubbed her sore wrists. Six continuous days of their 'indulgence'; not to mention if Cui Ti could bear it, if Ti Ti had awakened a bit later, Pei Xuan wasn't sure if her hand would still possess its previous agility.
"Where's my wife?"
She asked Bai Tang, who she happened upon when she stepped out.
Upon seeing her, Bai Tang looked as if he'd witnessed a miracle. "To cure sleep with more sleep"---M'lord had accomplished such a preposterous feat. M'lord was impressive!
"Your wife is feeding the rabbits in the backyard."
Feeding the rabbits?
A craving grew inside Pei Xuan, making him think of spicy rabbit head.
In the backyard, Hao Zhong and Rao Liang were accompanying the young lady.
After Cui Ti had fallen 'ill', everyone below them was alarmed and worried. The rabbits kept in the yard were inconsistently fed and visibly lost some weight.
Upon hearing that the fluffy bunnies had slimmed down, Cui Ti felt the urge to feed them. When Pei Xuan arrived, he saw her offering the rabbits some carrot tops.
"Eat up."
She gently coaxed the little bunnies.
Seeing her husband smiling from a distance, Hao Zhong and Rao Liang discreetly excused themselves. Pei Xuan tiptoed over, "Want to watch the bunnies?"
Suddenly, the vast sky and earth seemed brighter, illuminating the sparkle in Cui Ti's eyes.
Even though she felt shy from the recent events, she nodded slightly, "Yes."
Every time she said "yes", it was like a tender willow branch brushing over a calm lake; as if a spring breeze suddenly rose, causing ripples in one's heart.
Pei Xuan was undoubtedly a scholar. Still young and not yet matured into the influential official he would become, one who would hold sway over half the court, he had an incredibly thin skin. Blushing to his ears, he bent down to open the rabbit cage.
The scent emanating from her was enchanting. In the vast expanse of the world, Cui Ti could only see her. She was so engrossed that she couldn't look away, noticing Pei Xuan's ears so red they looked as if they might catch fire. The young and charming 'heir of the Pei family' clumsily tried to reach the rabbit, nearly getting his hand bitten in the process.
Six days of labor had instilled in the top scholar the importance of his hands. Sensing danger, he hastily withdrew his hand.
The rather hefty rabbit glared at him with red eyes, its short tail wagging vigorously. Pei Xuan stood there, stunned. Having eaten rabbit for years, he never imagined he'd be threatened by one.
Ti was still watching.
Embarrassed, he made another attempt, only to anger the rabbit further. It stomped its feet continuously inside the cage, breathing heavily.
"..."
Heaven knows, he didn't want to eat spicy rabbit head. He just wanted to hold the rabbit to please his beloved wife.
Pei Xuan looked utterly innocent.
Standing by, Cui Ti's eyes curved into crescent moons as she laughed. "What did you do to it?"
"It's your pet, how could I have done anything?"
This rabbit was causing quite the commotion.
Could it be a female rabbit?
He silently pondered, feeling slightly oppressed: Even if it's a female, it shouldn't be angry at me. I'm not its rival.
"Perhaps you could try calming it?"
He sought help from Cui Ti.
Cui Ti gently replied, "Let me try."
Pei Xuan held her hand as they approached the rabbit. Astonishingly, the rabbit was blatantly biased. When she tried to touch it, the rabbit would stomp angrily. However, under Cui Ti's touch, it became as pliable and soft as cotton.
How odd.
Was he that unlikable?
The most sought-after young man in Xi Jing momentarily doubted himself. Cui Ti placed the rabbit in his arms. Holding the bunny, Pei Xuan's gaze softened, more gentle than spring water, "If you like it, you can pet it more."
Thus, Cui Ti petted the rabbit, her smile radiant. Bathed in the gentle sunlight, the atmosphere was just right.
A treasured moment of tranquility.
A fervent and direct gaze fell upon her face and shoulders. Cui Ti's body seemed to grow warmer, the subtle intimacies blossoming on her skin. It was as if the passion Pei Xuan left on her was continuously fermenting.
Her legs trembled, the soreness becoming increasingly hard to ignore. Her eyes suddenly lifted, meeting Pei Xuan's clear and sincere gaze.
"Ti Ti, you look so beautiful."
"..."
The wonder of first sight did not fade with time but rather renewed itself daily.
To see her, it took only a glance, just enough to be utterly entranced.
Just enough, neither too much nor too little, was precisely what she cherished and couldn't afford to miss. It felt as though she had already missed out so many times. If she didn't hold onto him completely, she would be unable to face herself.
Cui Ti bit her lip, straightened her legs to keep herself from collapsing, and unknowingly reached for Pei Xuan's shoulder. "You... help me back to rest."
Staying any longer might lead to something alarming.
Her legs were giving out.
Experience showed that indulging in desires was not good. Who knows when the body might remember such feelings, reminding you at inopportune moments just how much you love her.
The irate rabbit was returned to its cage, and Pei Xuan took Cui Ti's hand, intending to head back to their chamber.
A maid came forward to report, "My Lord, Young Mistress, Miss Dou has arrived."
Under the pretense of visiting her cousin-in-law, Dou Qingyue came. Lady Pei warmly welcomed her and mentioned Cui Ti's 'illness' in hushed tones.
Seeing her like this, Dou Qingyue tactfully chose not to inquire further. She had a clear understanding of the underlying issue.
"Xuan is here. You two chat. I have something to attend to and will be back shortly."
"Take your time, Aunt."
She rose slightly in acknowledgment.
Lady Pei passed her daughter at the door, "Take good care of Ah Yue. No bullying."
Pei Xuan chuckled and nodded in agreement.
In this brief moment, Dou Qingyue had the opportunity to get a good look at the fortunate Cui Ti.
She noticed that the complexion of this "sister-in-law by marriage" was rosy, not at all resembling someone who had just escaped from death's door. Instead, there was an unspeakable allure between her eyebrows, as if she had been entirely awakened, radiating a new energy.
Then there was her slender waist, not even a handful wide, and her posture suggested a delicate frailty, as if she longed to lean into her 'cousin-in-law's' arms.
Dou Qingyue felt uncertain, wondering if the two had truly become 'husband and wife.'
After all, her cousin was a genuine woman. Aside from Dou Qingyue, would anyone else be unbothered by her identity?
"Ah Yue? Ah Yue?"
"Hmm?"
Pei Xuan looked at her with concern, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, nothing at all," Dou Qingyue quickly lowered her head. "It's been a while since we last met, and I heard that my sister-in-law was ill. I was so worried and was thinking about how to cheer her up. But seeing her today..."
She said with a playful smile, "After this illness, my sister-in-law looks even better than when she was well."
She looked radiant and extraordinarily beautiful. It wasn't just men who would be taken in by her beauty, even a woman like Dou Qingyue, who had eyes only for her 'cousin', couldn't help but marvel at such a gentle and tender lady.
And this lady was her rival in love.
Dou Qingyue's lips held a light hue as she continued to tease playfully.
Pei Xuan, being an upright person, couldn't argue with her. His pale face turned red. He helped Cui Ti sit down and turned around, saying with a playful annoyance, "Alright, alright. You know I'm not good with words. Push me further and I might just lose my temper."
"Since when have you been bad with words? You're just teasing me, cousin. Even when I'm unwell, I still care for my sister-in-law. She never finds me bothersome, only you do. Truly heartless."
The supposedly 'heartless' Pei Xuan laughed and poured tea as an apology, while Cui Ti played the role of mediator.
Half an hour passed, and after the necessary formalities, Dou Qingyue stood up to take her leave.
Cui Ti, despite her discomfort, insisted on seeing her out. With her graceful figure, slender twisting waist, and every step filled with an allure that begged for affection, Pei Xuan naturally found her absolutely enchanting. To anyone watching closely, like Dou Qingyue, it was enough to stir intense jealousy.
She felt a burning desire to throttle Cui Ti.
Sly vixen!
She clenched her teeth, unprepared for when Cui Ti, with a faint smile, accidentally met her gaze.
In a flash, Dou Qingyue understood.
She had been provoked.
"Provoked" might not be the right word. More accurately, Dou Qingyue's admiration had already been overshadowed by Cui Ti. And now, Cui Ti, under the title of "Lady Pei," was blatantly telling her:
You're deluding yourself.
Dou Qingyue gritted her teeth so hard she felt like she was swallowing them along with her blood.
The silent warfare between the two women came to an end. Oblivious to it all, Pei Xuan affectionately asked, "Ti Ti, are you tired?"
Having just managed to rile up Miss Dou, Cui Ti was in a playful mood and hadn't expected him to be so attentive.
The corner of her lips curved up, "Yes, hold me."