Chapter 31 - A Stirred Heart
Honestly, this path was proving a tough one.
In her earnest desire to reach into someone's heart, Cui Ti took a tearful bite into the spicy rabbit's head.
To say it was tearful was no exaggeration.
Her palate was more on the plain side. It wasn't a deliberate choice to maintain her slender figure, but rather a product of years spent in a frugal life with little to no oily dishes. Suddenly indulging in this spicy delicacy was a shock to her taste buds, and it seemed, her eyes as well.
Spicy enough to make one cry.
The tip of her nose turned a faint shade of red, as did her eyes. Her lips were glossed with a thin sheen of oil. She ate gracefully, but with a hint of clumsiness.
Everyone knows eating spicy rabbit head requires technique and patience. Cui Ti, being blind, particularly lacked patience when it came to food. Things like rabbit heads or chicken feet might have been hastily chewed and swallowed in the past.
But after a few days of luxurious feasting, the rabbit's head, fed to her, brought tears to her eyes. It felt as though her throat was on fire, burning fiercely, the spiciness ascending towards the crown of her head.
Yet, that wasn't the end of it.
The cheeks of the rabbit were the meatiest and easiest to bite. After a few bites, Cui Ti found herself lost, unsure where to take the next bite. She glanced helplessly at Pei Xuan, who seemed to be relishing his own meal.
Pei Xuan, as if discovering something amusing, said, "Try this side."
The rabbit's head was turned for her. Cui Ti, being clueless about its orientation, bit into it clumsily. Her actions were adorably inept. Coupled with her natural beauty and a face flushed perhaps from the spice, her eyes brimming with tears, she appeared irresistibly captivating. Pei Xuan's heart fluttered in tandem.
This feeling was so wonderful!
"Do you like it?"
After swallowing the scant amount of meat, Cui Ti felt as if her entire tongue wasn't her own, numbed by the spice. It took her a moment to respond to Pei Xuan, her voice unintentionally sounding pitiful, "It's delicious."
Pei Xuan, as the legitimate eldest son of the Pei family, was widely recognized as the epitome of a gentleman in Xi Jing. However, even a gentleman like him couldn't resist teasing his wife when seeing her in such a predicament.
She raised an eyebrow, "How delicious is it?"
Annoyed that she was teasing her, yet eager to deeply embed herself in her heart and grow closer to her, Cui Ti took a deep breath. Her voice soft and gentle, she responded, "The meat of a heavenly dragon could not compare to this."
Pei Xuan was taken aback, and then her shoulders quivered as she burst into uncontrollable laughter, covering her mouth.
"..."
Was it really that funny?
Cui Ti was puzzled, feeling an unavoidable rush of embarrassment.
If she hadn't seen it, it would've been better. But, as luck would have it, when she looked up, she was met with Pei Xuan's unabashedly amused face. While Cui Ti adored her joyful expression and the radiant beauty of her laughter, this was...
This was a bit too much.
Being good-natured and not one for arguments, she still asked knowingly, "My husband, have you had your laugh?"
Pei Xuan hadn't had enough, but she dared not continue, especially considering the intimate setting they'd find themselves in come nighttime. She didn't want to risk upsetting the lovely lady in front of her. Noticing her lips reddened from the spice, Pei Xuan poured some cow's milk into a jade bowl and said, "My wife, you're too kind in your praise. If you like it, we can savor such delicacies together every month."
The comment seemed teasing in nature. Cui Ti was relieved she didn't bring up the "dragon meat" comparison again. However, the flush on her face lingered. As she considered the prospect of trying the puzzlingly delicious rabbit head every month, she suddenly understood the saying about shooting oneself in the foot.
Now, not only did her foot hurt, but her face and throat did too. She couldn't help but mourn silently for her future self.
Bai Tang, who was standing by the dining table, couldn't help but marvel internally. Indeed, appearances can be deceiving. Who would've thought that the gentlemanly M'lord would tease like this? He knew Miss wasn't fond of the challenging rabbit head, yet he proposed a monthly ritual. And Miss, with her stubborn pride, wouldn't admit her true feelings. These two made quite the entertaining pair.
After a bit of playful teasing, Pei Xuan was, of course, aware of her wife's different taste preferences. Taking advantage of Cui Ti lowering her head to drink the milk, she rolled up her sleeves and, with narrowed eyes, meticulously enjoyed the spicy rabbit head, not missing a single strand of meat.
Cui Ti silently stole glances at Pei Xuan, admiring how beautiful she looked while eating, reminiscent of her elegance when writing. She marveled at Pei Xuan's meticulous way of eating, making sure to savor every bit of the rabbit head.
After another gulp of milk to soothe the spiciness, her mind began to clear.
Pei Xuan... was she eating the rabbit head she had left behind?
The rabbit in Hao Zhong's arms tilted its head curiously, watching the enthralled Pei Xuan. It wasn't long before Pei Xuan finished her rabbit head and reached for another.
She was undeterred and fully immersed in the taste. Seizing the opportunity, Cui Ti observed her and couldn't help but wonder about the reason for this display of consideration. They had only been married for a few days; it was improbable for Pei Xuan to be compensating for any wrongdoing.
Even in their past life, this person had always been upright, never associating with other women.
What could be the reason?
Halfway through her meal, Pei Xuan remembered why she had decided to serve the spicy rabbit head today. Noticing Cui Ti's empty cup, she instructed the cook to bring out more dishes.
The dishes were freshly made, light and refreshing, with an appealing aroma and appearance. Steam rose from the food, embodying the essence of worldly pleasures. Realizing the importance of the moment, Pei Xuan set aside her delicious rabbit head to serve dishes for her wife.
"You probably don't like strong-flavored dishes. It was my oversight. I assumed that what I loved, you'd definitely love too..."
"I, I really like it!"
Cui Ti hurriedly interjected, "I really do love it."
Then she saw Pei Xuan's smirk, clearly skeptical. "One can like, of course, but one can also dislike..." She laughed lightly, "I appreciate the freedom in my wife's heart, her spontaneity."
Bai Tang thought to herself: M'lord always speaks so pleasingly. Freedom, spontaneity --- how many live their whole lives without attaining these?
Cui Ti caught her drift, somewhat deflated, "How did you figure it out?"
Her motives weren't pure. It wasn't about liking rabbit head; clearly, she wanted to use that as a pretext to bring them closer.
Closer...
She sneaked glances at Pei Xuan, who was preparing dishes for her, her mind wandering. The old saying goes, "Unwarranted favors often hint at hidden motives." What was Xing Guang up to...
"Just eat."
Long chopsticks were placed in her hand.
Cui Ti dined quietly, beside her was Xi Jing's most candid gentleman, indulging himself for once.
Her eyes slightly downcast, she tasted the soft, fragrant rice. The next bite was her favorite sweet and sour fish.
Pei Xuan's peripheral vision caught a glimpse, and an unprecedented thought crossed his mind: Before their execution, death row inmates often partake in a last meal, and a courageous man would shout, "In eighteen years, I'll still be a hero," right before the beheading.
She wore the guise of a man, intending to get intimate. Before the act itself, she started with the rabbit head. However, by nature, a rabbit is timid. No matter how much she ate, it couldn't bolster her courage. Now, just the words "retiring for the night" would send her heart racing in anxiety.
If Cui Ti lost her purity to her, and later realized she was genuinely a woman, how would she atone?
Even if she tried, could she truly compensate?
In Da Zhao, a woman's reputation was held above all, sometimes even more precious than life. Her mother took advantage of this, forcing her hand...
Pei Xuan furrowed his brows, suddenly finding that the delectable rabbit head, which had tasted better than dragon meat, now felt odd in his mouth. He was consumed by worries and the fear of loss.
All his distress was visible in his eyes. While others might not notice, Cui Ti's keen perception did.
"M'lord?"
Pei Xuan snapped back, "My wife."
With a gentle smile, Cui Ti said, "I'd like another bite."
The two shared a rabbit head. The easy-to-eat meat went to her, while the choicest morsels that required skill to extract went to Pei Xuan.
In the afternoon, the usually studious M'lord Pei, who was often seen with a book, instead took his delicate wife out for a lake tour.
Xi Jing boasted stunning scenery. The vast lake stretched endlessly. Atop a large boat, Pei Xuan, with his arm around Cui Ti's slender waist, lay back and felt the breeze. Birds flew over them, their calls echoing. In that moment, Cui Ti felt the peace of time.
However, both harbored their own thoughts, each reflecting and speculating. They didn't truly savor the joy of the lake tour, and nightfall came with the gentle wind.
Stars dotted the sky, the bright moon hung high. At dinner, the entire Pei family gathered. Receiving a covert hint from her mother, Pei Xuan felt as if his heart was on the edge of a cliff, just one gust away from a point of no return.
"Everyone, leave."
"Yes." Hao Zhong lit the incense burner prepared by the Madam for M'lord, and with Rao Liang and Bai Tang, they bowed and retreated in succession.
The door closed, and a faint elegant scent gradually emanated, as if a mythical beast was exhaling a cloud of fragrant mist.
From daylight till now, her demeanor has been quite peculiar, making it impossible for Cui Ti not to overthink.
In the inner room, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The wick inside the lampshade made a crackling sound, startling the 'guilty conscience' of the gentleman.
Pei Xuan cleared his throat and stood up, his legs weak, "My wife, it's late..."
Cui Ti's ears were red and hot. Fearful of misinterpretation leading to embarrassment, she simply nodded.
He supported her to the edge of the bed, seeing her face blushing like peach blossoms, Pei Xuan quickly lowered his gaze, lost in thought staring at the embroidered shoes typical of a Miss, his heart racing.
As her heart raced on one side, Cui Ti felt like fluttering butterflies on the other, her breathing slightly uneven.
She wasn't naive; she understood that all of Pei Xuan's odd behaviors today were probably because of what might happen tonight.
"My w... my wife..."
"Hmm?"
Finally, Pei Xuan lifted his gaze, taking on the responsibility of being the 'legitimate son of the Pei family', staring unblinkingly at Cui Ti: "My wife, you've already learned from my mother that I'm not a complete man and can't give you a house full of children."
She stepped forward, wishing she could bare her heart for him to see, "But my heart is still warm, and my affection for you is real. Do you mind my imperfection?"
"Huh?"
"Do you mind?"
Surrounded by his presence, Cui Ti trembled slightly, uncertain whether from excitement or shyness. She shook her head, "I don't mind."
"You truly don't?"
"Yes, I truly don't."
Pei Xuan was deeply touched, his voice filled with regret, "Yet I'm now a broken man. Fortunate that you don't despise me and are willing to be my wife. I..."
She anticipated him to finish with "I can only repay you with my entire being." But the sentence never came. Unable to wait, Cui Ti asked, "What about you?"
"I..." Pei Xuan closed and opened his eyes again, restraining his shame and the love in his heart, his voice gentle, "Though I am 'broken', I still wish to be a true 'husband' to you..."
With his every mention of "broken", Cui Ti found it amusingly bittersweet. Yet when she heard "be a true husband", she felt weak.
"Is it possible?" Pei Xuan asked cautiously.
She moved even closer.
So close that Cui Ti could smell the fresh scent from his bath. Overwhelmed with shyness, her voice as faint as a mosquito's, "Yes."
Having confirmed he heard correctly, Pei Xuan remained stunned for a while, shakily pulling out an illustrative booklet from his sleeve.
He opened the booklet and nervously flipped through a few pages.
With her ears pricked, Cui Ti heard the subtle rustling of pages, but didn't dare to look up, her heart fluttering, "My husband?"
Pei Xuan, holding the metaphorical 'hot potato', was indecisive in front of the various positions illustrated. Fortunately, he was naturally sharp-witted, possessing a photographic memory. He laid the booklet on the 'treasure chest' beside the bed, his face flushing with warmth, "Tonight, I... I want to be a true husband to you."