Chapter 15 - The One in My Heart
The chirping of insects came in through the window, and the night breeze wandered gently.
In the bridal chamber, the candles were red, and the bride's wedding dress was also red.
The room was filled with an expansive joy that could not dissipate.
Pei Xuan was flustered and kept asking questions but got no response. Her voice gradually became very low.
"My lady?"
Her voice trembled, afraid to startle the bright moon before her eyes, the love of her heart,
Cui Ti seemed to wake up from a dream, her eyes lowered, staring blankly at Pei Xuan's true female form, unable to believe the story of 'the husband being a lady' would really happen by her side.
She reached out her hand hazily.
Pei Xuan reacted swiftly and avoided it to the side. The open inner clothes were lifted by her avoidance, revealing a faint glimpse of snowy skin like jade, which became even more noticeable in Cui Ti's eyes.
How laughable, having lived two lifetimes, Cui Ti hadn't even seen her own body, but first saw the most beautiful young lord in Xi Jing.
The young lord was not a lord, but a lady.
She stood there in a daze, her expression indistinguishable between sorrow and joy.
Pei Xuan, clever as she was, would never have imagined a 'blind person gaining sight'. She said gently, "My lady, are you uncomfortable?"
"I..."
Cui Ti didn't dare look at her. Her voice was faint, "My knees hurt."
"Did you bump them? I'll go get some medicine. My lady, stand here and don't move. I'll be right back."
No one could dislike her earnest and attentive manner. Cui Ti softly agreed.
Pei Xuan turned to fetch the medicine box.
After she left, Cui Ti dared to raise her head and gaze at her retreating figure.
A gentleman is like jade, like cutting and chiseling, like carving and polishing - this described the Pei family son exactly.
She had always thought Pei Xuan was too thoughtful and caring. Recalling her past life, she could not help sighing that there was such an incredible man in the world. Now it turned out the case was cracked.
It was not a man, but a woman.
A woman with kindness in her heart and lofty aspirations.
A white undergarment, red bridal robe, black long hair, a crescent arc like pouring clear water - this was the first time Cui Ti had seen with her own eyes the gentle image of a woman.
"My lady, I'm back."
Pei Xuan opened the medicine box, picked out a bottle for treating bruises. She put the small white medicine bottle to the side, then turned to tie her sash properly.
When Cui Ti saw her again, her slender waist was outlined by the sash, covered neatly and properly, which made it even harder to forget the earlier sight.
"My lady..." She held the small medicine bottle and squatted down, saying, "Let me apply medicine for you."
Cui Ti pointed to her left knee.
She hadn't looked enough at Pei Xuan yet.
She was afraid this was a dream, afraid Heaven only allowed her to see this for one night.
The newlywed wife put on an indulgent attitude, seemingly too lazy to apply it herself. Pei Xuan smiled and neatly rolled up her sleeves, then carefully moved closer and gently rolled up her pant leg.
Cui Ti was very thin and delicate. There was not much flesh on her calves. Her pants rolled up above her knees, revealing fair and smooth skin with faint bluish-purple bruises.
When the medicinal ointment was unexpectedly applied, Cui Ti let out a soft moan, then her face turned red. Her fingers gripped the hem of her clothes as she didn't dare look at Pei Xuan's face.
"If it hurts, cry out, don't endure it. I'll be gentler."
Deliberately ignoring her friend's constant lewd jokes in her ear, she calmed her mind and properly applied the medicine.
Cui Ti bit her lips without speaking, until the redness on her earlobes had not yet faded.
"Are your eyes really okay?"
"Mm, no problem."
Pei Xuan was half believing and half suspicious, but still worried, "I'll call a doctor to take a look tomorrow."
"No need!" Cui Ti lowered her head, "No need, it can't be cured, it's been with me since the womb, there is no medicine that can save it."
"..."
Regretting bringing up her sad affairs, Pei Xuan felt guilty stealing glances at her, wanting to be close but also knowing it was improper tonight. She paced around the room and came back with a scroll in her hands, "Lady Cui, how about I teach you how to recognize characters?"
"Okay."
"You sit first."
Pei Xuan helped her sit comfortably on the edge of the bed, then moved closer to the candlelight and sat down next to her, "Learning to read and write relies most on perseverance. In my opinion, even talent must make way before perseverance. Once you become familiar, these characters will also recognize you, settling in your mind, entertaining you, cheering you up - no one can take that away."
A top scholar in the imperial exam would naturally have more astute perception and focus in literary skills compared to average. Seeing her excitement and joy, Cui Ti's eyes curved into crescents as she smiled, "I will learn well."
She had never given up in despair from the start. Pei Xuan smiled more contentedly.
She felt a sense of accomplishment in finding something to do on the wedding night.
At least they had something to talk about now.
Cui Ti remembered the first character Pei Xuan taught her was 'love'.
Love was a powerful word, it was something Cui Ti yearned for but could not obtain.
Pei Xuan took out the prepared carved wooden blocks and brought her hand to feel them, "Can you feel it? Let me guide you in tracing it?"
She deliberately waited a few breaths.
Seeing no dissatisfaction from Cui Ti, she then grasped her fingers to write and draw.
Cui Ti's heart was still chaotic, but it did not affect her scenting the faint osmanthus fragrance from this person.
She had long learned how to write 'love', and she also knew the second character Pei Xuan taught her was 'Ti'.
Ti, means orange-red, the sun was orange-red, flames were orange-red. She said the person who first named her could not have not loved her.
If they didn't love her, they wouldn’t have given her such a vibrant and colorful name.
If there was something lacking, it should be supplemented. Cui Ti was blind, unable to see colors, unable to see all things, but her name was beautiful.
The third character she taught her was 'Guang'.
Xing Guang's name，means light.
"Have you learned it?"
"I've learned it."
This time it was Pei Xuan's turn to be stunned. She was surprised her lady had learned so quickly. She asked gently, "Then write it for me to see?"
Cui Ti did not want to write on the cold and unfeeling wooden blocks. She contemplated for a moment or two, then took her husband's hand and wrote in her palm.
The soft fingertips hooking in the palm lines, itchy, seemed to stir up her heart too. Pei Xuan's eyes never left her, watching her shy yet smiling gentle manner, watching her serious appearance when writing.
"Love."
After showing off a bit on the current top scholar's palm, Cui Ti had a bashful expression. "I've written it, did I write it correctly?"
"Yes, perfectly."
"Is there a reward?"
"Reward?"
"Yes, I learned quickly."
Teasing this world's completely unaware young lord with memories from her past life, Cui Ti's earlobes were red, "None?"
"How could there be none?"
Even if there wasn't any at first, there had to be now.
Pei Xuan thought about it but couldn't think of how to reward her. Anxious, she grabbed Cui Ti's hand, "I'll write too!"
"You write."
Worried about affecting the top scholar's inspiration, she laid her palm flat and felt the famous beautiful penmanship of the left-handed top scholar.
Seeing and not seeing made a big difference.
Not seeing meant she could only feel with her heart, fearing to miss any details. Seeing only allowed her to see her, Cui Ti secretly watched with rapt attention.
With such gentle gazes like flowing light pouring down, Pei Xuan's heart felt warm. The strokes from her brush became sentimental and tender.
She also wrote a "love" character for Cui Ti.
You love me, I love you.
"Do you recognize it?" Pei Xuan asked with upturned lips, "What did I write?"
She took in all the details of Pei Xuan's expression, eyebrows, every move. Cui Ti was delighted that she still had some playful youth left in her. She pretended to be puzzled, "This..."
"Not this." Her flying eyebrows drooped, "You really can't recognize it?"
"It seems I do recognize it..."
"What is it?"
"Love."
Cui Ti had been blind for eighteen years. Even if she could see now, Pei Xuan could not detect her act.
Turning her head slightly, she softly and gently read out the character. Pei Xuan's heartfelt joy reached its peak.
She really married an outstanding wife.
The night was late, and the one who had claimed she wanted to chat all night with her wife - her eyelids could no longer be lifted up. Cui Ti watched her playfully and suggested, "My lord, it's time to sleep."
Pei Xuan nodded slightly.
She hadn't slept well all last night, busy with the wedding preparations in the early morning. Her emotions had been on a rollercoaster ride, unlike a general who would still be energetic no matter how much they were put through.
At this moment, her scholarly and delicate temperament showed through. Cui Ti pretended to yawn.
Having obtained the lady's consent, Pei Xuan climbed onto the bed.
Halfway up she climbed back down again, first guiding Cui Ti to rest on the bridal bed, before shyly going behind the screen.
Cui Ti guessed that she had gone to secretly bind her chest.
She smiled.
Lamenting that in her previous life, she had truly been blind, unable to tell whether her bedmate was male or female.
"My lady?"
Having made thorough preparations, Pei Xuan came to the edge of the bed, took off her outer robe, and tiptoed onto the bed.
Seeing her cautious manner, Cui Ti couldn't help but want to laugh.
She did laugh out loud, and took off her own outer robe.
Pei Xuan was startled.
This was different from the shy bride she had imagined.
The new bride wore only her undergarment as she groped her way into the bridal quilt. The mandarin duck quilt was red, the girl's face white. Pei Xuan lowered the bed curtains, and lay nervously beside her like a frightened deer.
"Wasn't my lord tired?"
That's right.
Pei Xuan looked up at the red gauze canopy above her.
She had been frightened awake again.
"Go to sleep."
After an hour.
The bridal chamber had two pairs of wide awake eyes that simply could not fall asleep. Pei Xuan sighed softly, "My lady, why aren't you sleeping yet?"
"I'll sleep now."
Knowing her husband was female, Cui Ti's behavior became a little bolder. She hid her strange feelings and moved closer to the one beside her pillow:
"My lord, can you hold me?"
A new bride, if she couldn't even get a hug on her wedding night, how humiliating would that be?
Pei Xuan's heart softened with pity, and she gently embraced Cui Ti.
"My lady, I'm holding you. It's late, let's sleep."
Cui Ti closed her eyes.
After a long while, so long that the arm Pei Xuan was resting on grew numb and tingling, she looked at the sleeping Cui Ti and fell asleep at ease.
Deeply sleepy.
The stars and moon shone bright.
Pei manor fell into peaceful tranquility.
The girl who should have been sleeping soundly fluttered her eyelashes and silently opened her eyes.
She could still see Pei Xuan.
The sleeping Pei Xuan whose feminine nature couldn't be concealed at all.
The dream was real.
The immortal had come on a crane to open her spiritual eyes, but her spiritual eyes could only see one person.
She greedily watched Pei Xuan sleeping in the dim light, thinking of how attentive and caring she had been in their past life, protecting her, cherishing her, loving her. Cui Ti's heart swelled, aching yet sour.
Lies had to be remedied with more lies.
The honorable and upright daughter of the Pei family, the loyal minister trusted by the previous and new emperors, had deceived the whole world, and deceived her too.
Yet the deception was meant for her own good.
Nestled in her embrace, Cui Ti didn't know whether to laugh or cry. On this long night, she didn't even dare to blink once more.
She now realized, she truly, truly liked Pei Xingguang!